How assuming is destroying your marriage – You know what happens when people assume … right? Prior to getting married, you spent a great deal of time talking about many things. As you do you begin to assume the other person knows you well and that he or she will always remember the things you talked about before you got married.
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You assume from the get-go that you are on the same page and develop expectations about your life together down to the roles you will each take on and how household chores will be divided up. Then you get married and things begin to unravel — from YOUR perspective.
You wonder, “How does my spouse not know how I think and feel about _________ ? He or she should know what I think or how I am going to feel about certain issues. I shouldn’t have to say what it is all the time.”
This is when things can become difficult. You begin to notice the ways you are similar and the ways in which you approach things differently.
But there is something you can do to make things better. You can stop making assumptions.
Assumptions can destroy your relationship. You may begin to think negatively about your partner because you assume their lack of knowing means they don’t love you. When your spouse doesn’t respond the way you need them to, that assumption leads you to feel annoyed and hurt.
It’s unfair to believe that if you’ve hinted at something in the past, or even stated something in the past, the other person will fully remember or understand the importance to you. It’s also unfair to assume that because you are in a relationship with someone, that person will know you so completely that they will able to give you what you want and need at all the right times. No one can read your mind, no matter how long you have been together.
Marriage brings together two different people to share two separate lives — now and forever. And each person brings into the relationship a unique set of ideas, opinions, expectations and ways of doing things. Even if you have a good idea of how the other person will react or respond in a given situation, you can never know for sure until you actually communicate about it verbally.
Here are 7 ways to prevent and overcome making assumptions within your marriage.
1. Communicate often.
That means that you must actually talk to one another face to face. Talking on the telephone, texting, emailing may be alright some of the time, but it is important for your relationship that you spend time talking to each other face-to-face.
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